Wednesday, 20 November 2013

21. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or rather, the easiest.

   Yesterday I had a long day off from work. I set myself a target of being super productive.
I intended to work on my board game concepts, organise my YouTube network foundations (so I am ready to go when the project starts) and to look into buying a new computer.

Did any of it get done?

Of course not.

 I was just so overwhelmed by... well... everything!

YouTube has become such a complex entity with the Google+ additions.
I was lost in a sea of technological insanity. I roughly figured it out, but not enough to do anything worthwhile.

A for my gaming concepts...

Brick wall.

No clarity, no direction, no ideas. Nothing.
Call it whatever you want I just could not get the ball rolling.

After a really long talk with my girlfriend I decided to shelve them for now.
At least until I can think of a way to move forward with them.

She did suggest something, which, at first, I dismissed almost out of hand.
Work with something you know.

It didn't make sense at the time.
I blame the pure dour cloud hanging over my head on the day; but I simply couldn't see a way of expanding on the games I was looking at in front of me;
Munkin already has many, many iterations and expansions.
Civilization, Battlestar, Arkham Horror and the like all are vastly complex and have multiple expansions.
The complexity was over my head and the artistic creativity was out of my league in terms of knowledge and understanding.
I could not think of a way to add to either, thematically, mechanically or visually.

Today it hit me.
I was never supposed to.

Maybe she didn't know it at the time, but my girlfriends advice was spot on.
Work with something you know.

The game didn't have to be a board game/card game or RPG's.

Just a game.

Once I had that in my head numerous ideas sprouted onto paper, ready to be made into concept board/card games or RPG's.
Yeah, sure. These ideas may be academic; a learning experience that never actually get made.
But that is the point. I need that experience, to know what I'm comfortable with, what I need to learn and what works.

Today is a good day.


Friday, 15 November 2013

20. Step by Step...

...I am getting there.

Or so I would like to believe.

So much for not letting things get to me.
I hate my job. It is plain and simple.
Undervalued, overworked. Underpaid, unappreciated.

I start work early in the morning. 6am. That means being up at 5.
I'm not the best at sleeping. I get around 4-5 hours.

So when they ask me to come two hours early? Really?

Let me break it down for you.

I take relative pride in my work.
I don't like doing a job badly, I don't like leaving things half done.
But I will. I am not paid enough to care that much.
I also don't enjoy my job anywhere near enough to go that far out of my way to do extra time.
There is no over time pay, just regular pay.

'Think of your bonus.'
This mantra pisses me off. I do not work for my bonus. I work for the money I get each month.
Now, I get that management think differently... I mean, why wouldn't you?
My bonus = around £200 after tax. Which is pretty nice.
But we already hit the maximum it can get for the year 4 months ago.

My bosses bonus = 22% of his salary. So around £9900, before tax.
I can see why you'd work towards that.

I don't give a fuck about your bonus, and honestly, I don't really care about mine.
If I didn't get one, I'd still work the same job.

'We really need to straighten out the store.'
Why? I agree it needs sorting out, but if you did your job properly in the first place, it wouldn't be in this mess.
I am not fixing your fuck ups for you.

I think I'm about done.

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

19. Cracking on.

A while back I spoke of re-purposing this blog.
In a way that is what I am doing, but in another it is not.

In fact, this blog retains its original function whatever I use it for.
It is what I am willing to share with the world.

And right now that is apathy.

I hate the market economy system.
I hate Capitalism.
I hate that both these bourgeoisie systems of power mean I have to work a job I hate, everyday.

But you know what...
You work to live, not live to work.

'You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.' - Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club .

Fight Club quotes may well be over used, but it remains my favourite film of all time.
It puts forward the most valid of all points, in a way so dramatised that you cannot stand up and take notice.

You are not any of this stuff. Let it go. Let that what which does not matter, slide.

In other words, stop wasting your time doing shit you don't want to do, and start doing what you want to do.

So fuck apathy.
It is time to start living again.

Which brings me on to my next point.

While I look for a new job; one I actually want to do, I am going to do some other things that I want to do.

Firstly, I am going to start developing my own games.

These wont be computer games.
I do not possess the time, money or skills to take on such an endeavour.

No, these will be board games, card games and role playing games.

If I fail, oh well. But if I don't, then I get to be a part of something I truly enjoy doing. Win

Second. I am going to get a new computer and start making videos.
While at University, me and my friend always played Minecraft, and talked about making videos of us playing; to share the creations we make and the funny moments we had playing the game.
That way they could share those times with us.

So yeah. Gaming videos.
Nothing original except ourselves.

Might try and incorporate the first point into it and have some table top games involved.

And finally;
I have often thought it would be awesome to run a hobby store.
That is the the idea in its entity.

These are all lofty (ish) goals.
And yeah, I'll have to work some shitty job while I put my time and effort into these projects which may never go anywhere.

So what? I'll be doing something I enjoy.

In the meantime I can get on with life.